Learning to Be Seen (and Still Finding My Way)

My whole life, I have hated being seen. I wanted friends, to be liked, and most of all to be accepted. But I did not want to be seen. And I was terrible at it. The more I tried to fade into the background, the more I stood out for the wrong things—whether for being weird, loud, or awkward.

A Song That Changed Everything

“Can I get a map for the girl that lost her way?”

That one sentence hit me like a punch to the chest. I was doom-scrolling one night, like so many of us do, when I stumbled across a song called “Human Race” by BRNE. Something about it struck a nerve—or maybe it lit a match.

But here’s the thing: I don’t think I lost my way. I think I just haven’t found it yet.

A New Realization

That realization hit me harder than expected. We often talk about “finding ourselves,” as if we’re puzzle pieces that got misplaced. But what if the truth is simpler—and scarier? What if the path hasn’t even been paved yet?

Right now, I feel like I’m somewhere—maybe even somewhere important—but the question that always comes next is: What now?

Maybe it’s time I stop asking that.

Letting Go of External Expectations

Maybe it’s time I stop measuring my worth in next steps, career moves, or external validation. Maybe the real journey is learning to exist—fully, presently, and unapologetically—in this moment.

So, this is where I am right now. Somewhere between hiding and showing up. Between fading into the background and finally stepping forward.

And this is what I’m setting out to do on this journey:

To be here. Now. As I am.
To stop asking for a map and start trusting my own inner compass.
To stop waiting to be “ready” and just begin.